Anxiety

It seems the question has been derived
Transposed into fantasy lyrics.
Let me give it a look
And let me tell you what I see.
Oh no.
You said yes.
Oh no.
I am lost.
Oh no.
I have been given a chance
To be relied on.
How do I do it?
How do I do something right?
Every other time
I have failed my master.
Not good enough-
Too slow-
Too fast-
Too sloppy-
Too neat.
How is it this new master has picked me?
To find the derivative of the beginning
Or to erase its complete existence.
It seems all I am is the word
Expect.
If I do forget,
Then again,
I'm not.
Oh no.
What should I do?

Are you the one?

Link arms with me
And lie.
Say
I do.
But then
Don't.
Leave me.
When everything is
fine.
Everything may seem perfect
Right now.
But its all a remedy
To cure the cut
That hasn't even been inflicted-
Yet.
The future
Is my fear.
Your world is rolling downhill
When mine is spinning
Naturaly.
Why?
Why do you want it to end?
Someone better?
For the fun of it?
For the adventure?
Its not gonna be fun.
I'll always be here.
And you'll always be there.
Im gonna haunt you.
Your gonna haunt me.
Cus' we will always remember-
Who we are.
Who we were.
And what we think were gonna be.
But,
Please.
Just this time.
Be the one
Who is nothing more then the face
The words
and
The melody
That you have been.
Forever is my question.
My longing is for the answer to be called out to me.....
You.

Forget It

Im angry all over.
Get away from me.
My anger will hurt you.
And I won't care.
My anger has taken over me.
Now it won't matter.
If it kills off you.
You are only another.
Another in my way.
Another distraction.
Another competitor.
Another fear.
Let me be angry.
Or else.
Or else I'll-.
Or else I'll break.
Into nothing.
Nothing- but anger.
The anger that resides.
From me.
From you.
From anything.
It is always plausible.
You may always be nothing.
With my anger by my side.
It tells me not to care.
But to fear.
To envy.
To crave.
To hate.
There is no more.
Of me to tell.
I stop now.
My anger lingers out of my hands.
It clenches your arm.
You scream.
And I stay still.
As my venomous grasp.
Is constant.
Is forever.
Is final.

Chapter Five

A trance
Is nothing more than
The lie your in.

You think you got me
You try to convince me
That everything is all right.

I'll tell you something true-
Your wrong.

I have yet to see the day that your eyes can see again.
The day where you tell me something reasonable.
The day we are both equals- the day we don't lie.

I can't remain
In this constant stage
Of fighting.

The current has pulled me
Far away from you
And has pushed me onto the shore.

A new beginning
Means another end.

A new life
Means another chance-
Another chance that I may end up back in the water-
Back to the inconstant stage of
Lying.

Chapter Four

Act like a
No one and
Growl with
Every moment where
Redemption meets your fate.

Make the
Attitude a penalty of
Death.

Leave the truth with the
Incoherant, for
Everyone still remains false.

Forget what that person
Answered- for they
Knew you would believe that
Everyone is true- that everyone is real.

Chapter Three

Anger resides
I can't resist
The urge to tell you
How I feel.

But I cant
For once I do
There is no difference
Between us.

You are the monster
I fear to become
And I am the child
Watching your every move.

But, yet I already know
Which path to take
And it seems so simple now-
I won't go down yours.

Your incompetance
Scares me.

Your incoherence
Worries me.

Your face
Tells me what a lie is.

How can I be Jubilant
When I see how dubious you are
To the aloof side of others
When you are nothing more.

How can I be understanding
When you drink away your life-
Smoke away your worries-
And prepare yourself for no tomorrow.

I am angry.

I am mad.

I won't help the undeserving
If the undeserving has no intention of helping themselves.

Chapter Two- A Walk

Kick the stone,
I tell myself,
For life is nothing more than the stone itself.
Kicking, accessible.
Shaking, allowed.
Destroying- unavoidable.
Run along the side of the river,
I tell myself,
For life is nothing more than the run itself.
Passing, accessible.
Forgetting, allowed.
Halting- unavoidable.
Walk back home,
I tell myself,
For life is nothing more than the walk itself.
Slowness- unavoidable.
Fastness- unavoidable.
And then there is the Solitude.
Thats when I know the meaning of life,
Solitude.

Chapter One- Who am I

Leave me alone.
You always have.
I'm rotting from the inside, out.
There's no beginning,
There's no end.
I'm now the infinite idea,
That the rotted can never be revived.
I'm now the infinite sound,
Of a bird that never chirps.
I'm now the infinite feeling,
Of being burned so severely, that you don't ever feel a thing.
I'm now the infinite smell,
Of a rose drowned in water- in reach of your hand.
I'm now the infinite taste,
Of a chocolate I'll never have.
So, step back.
I don't need any more pain.
I don't need any more longing.
I don't need any of your help.
Because-
I am the girl who is pretending to be something I'm not.
I am the girl who is spoiled down to the brim.
I am the girl who likes people to feel sorrow for me.
I am the girl,
Who is the lie you'll always hear.
The one that goes,
I'll tell you who I am.